Crystal Ball (no relation to Lucille) Presents...
The Good, The Bad, and the Cheesy

September's Selection: Jenny McCarthy

I don't understand the hype surrounding Jenny McCarthy. How could a bleached blonde bimbo with no talent whatsoever go from being the second bananna on MTV's version of the dating game to getting her own NBC sitcom? Do you think posing nude in Playboy had anything to do with it? If so, then honey, tell me where I sign up and I'll be ripping my clothes off faster than Clark Kent in a public phone booth! Jenny McCarthy is the ultimate in cheese - her vapid Valley Girl act (if it is an act) is so cliched and cloying that I am surprised it has gotten her as far as she has gone. And what's with her "Hey Baby!" catch-phrase? Can it be any more contrived? Last year in Allure Magazine Jenny admitted that she used to have big hair. Gee, what a surprise, I didn't think she was the type! Of the over 70 fan sites devoted to Jenny McCarthy, it is refreshing to see that there is one person expressing his "contempt for this stupid blonde bimbo." With the help of Shockwave, now you too can take shots at Jenny with the Jenny McCarthy Spooge-a-thon.

It seems like Jenny McCarthy can't make up her mind whether she wants to be a supermodel


or a wacky comedienne like Lucille Ball

but in fact she does not succeed as either. All her "zany" mugging in front of the camera, making those dumb faces and contorting her mouth, just doesn't work when she's wearing those false eyelashes and tons of makeup trying to look like a glamour girl. Even in her MTV sketch comedy show (how did she ever land that one?), when she got dressed up in her "wacky" outfits such as a ballerina or a housewife, she still had her supermodel makeup. Lucille Ball, on the other hand, was not afraid to look ugly when the situation called for it. But the major reason why Jenny McCarthy is September's Cheese of the Month is that she is so tacky! One television commercial, which two out of the three major networks passed on their options to show, depicted Jenny waiting at home for the plumber to come. He has the stereotypical tool belt and butt crack. Jenny gets a phone call, and tells the caller she's busy getting a crack fixed. Her print ads are just as tasteless. Jenny is the new spokesmodel for Candies. Remember Candies?
Yes, those "do-me" slides of the late-70s disco era are back, and the company chose a model who is just as cheesy as the shoes. The cheesiest ad shows Jenny sitting on the toilet reading a newspaper. Her panties are around her ankles, leading the viewers eyes down to the Candies that she is wearing on her feet. For one thing, what self-respecting model or actress would be photographed like that sitting on the toilet? I know it's a tongue-in-cheek ad,and I do have a sense of humour and all that. But I'm sorry, this ad is just tack-y! And do you know what bugs me the most about this ad? The big grin Jenny is wearing, like she thinks it's funny that her panties are down around her ankles. Maybe that's nothing new for her. Or perhaps she thinks she looks attractive like that. In any case, the manner in which Jenny is allowing herself to be shown, for print ads as well as for her tv show, only demonstrate that the Jenny McCarthy that we see is not merely an act, but that she probably really is the cheesy bimbo that she portrays. And have you noticed that NBC is no longer featuring Jenny in the commercials for her own television show? Just a thought.

Disclaimer - the views expressed herein are entirely the opinion of Drag Hag. Cheese is a relative thing. What I find cheesy others may not, but everyone is entitled to his or her opinion, so please do not bombard me with e-mail if you disagree!

Nest Month's Selection: The Spice Girls